Warehouse Thurs., 7 p.m.

Parkside Sun., 9:45 a.m.

QotW: Is it okay to date a non-Christian?

Another good question to think through (for the record, the W in QotW now stands for “whenever” because it’s certainly not a weekly thing…haha):

I am a Christian.  Is it okay to date a non-Christian?

This is a really good question, because it is one that a lot of us probably wrestle through in high school.  It can be especially relevant when we really connect with a guy or girl from school on a lot of things…except for the topic of faith.  And it’s a loaded question because there’s a part of most of us that really wants to be in a relationship, wants someone to care for and love us, wants someone that we can call our boyfriend or girlfriend…

As for whether or not it is a good idea, there are a few different opinions out there.  Some suggest the idea of “missionary dating”, or the thought that the Christian in the relationship can actually help bring the non-Christian to faith in Jesus.  But, as good as that might sound, I’ve found that it often goes the other way, with the Christian being pulled away from their faith…

Furthermore, I think the Bible is pretty clear on this one.  In 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, Paul writes, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.  For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?  Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial (another name for Satan)?  What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?  For we are the temple of the living God.  As God has said, ‘I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.’”

Certainly, Paul didn’t have dating in mind when he wrote this (dating didn’t really even exist back then!), but the principle of the passage is that Christians and non-Christians are fundamentally different.  One of the ways that the Bible speaks about this difference is by using the ideas of light and darkness: before we were Christians, we lived in darkness, doing whatever our sinful desires drove us to do, but once we come to know Jesus, we live in the light, living for Him.  And as a result, it’s not wise for believers and non-believers to be “yoked” (or joined) together in any kind of significant partnership, because essentially, both groups are about different things.

If we want to take the image one step further, imagine this.  Imagine you are tied together to someone with a piece of rope.  And imagine that you are trying with all of your might to go the right, while the other person is trying (with all of their might) to go to the left.  Clearly, being tied to this person isn’t going to help you get to where you are trying to go.  In the same way, no matter how many interests and activities a Christian has in common with a non-Christian, the two are fundamentally different and going in opposite directions.  One group is trying to live for and serve God with their life, while the other doesn’t really have an interest in doing that, and that doesn’t make for a good “yoking” or partnership…

An ideal relationship is one that helps you follow Jesus: you want to date someone who encourages your faith, someone who points you to Jesus, someone who is about the same things as you.  I know it can be hard to wait for that person, especially when there is a non-Christian who is interested in you or who you like, but trust the Bible on this.  God isn’t trying to ruin your love life or take away your fun, but He’s actually trying to give you what’s best for you, something that helps you to love and serve Him!

2 Responses to “QotW: Is it okay to date a non-Christian?”

1. Max Says:
   February 8th, 2010 at 11:40 am

   great tips on christian dating thanks!

2. Nicole Says:
   February 15th, 2010 at 10:50 pm

   that was really good and useful advice Dan thank you!(:
   my mom has said the same thing to me but I dnt believe her and well
   now I do believe her! haha well thnkx lol

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